What a Difference a Year Makes

I don't celebrate New Year's Eve or New Year's Day but I can't help taking stock of my life at this time of the year. This year has been filled with many changes. I guess this post is like one of those yearend letters one receives. You know the one that reveals all the family secrets. Some are the gossip you desire to hear despite your vow never to listen to gossip again. Then there are the ones that give you TMI (too much information) that you can't even bear to read. They're the ones you'd file under "Send to author for new book in series Fifty shades of Grey.

My family dynamics are about to change. The big difference will be that as of Jan 1 my husband is retiring from 37 years in the field of dispute resolution. It is tempting to see how he applies all he has learned when he is home with me 24 hours a day, G-d Help Me! My marriage has been a crash course in "Dispute Resolution". Once my husband is home he will take my course, "Dispute Revelation" subtitled "My Way or the Highway". My mother-in-law passed along saying to me that am so apropos for this life altering experience. The saying is "For better or for worse, but not for lunch."

The last fourteen years he has spent at FINRA an organization that formed after NASD and the NY Stock Exchange combined forces. My husband is (was) a company man. He has loved working all his life. It wasn't until the children were out of the house that I truly appreciated what a treasure that was. He loved bounding off to work. Much like the postman, "Neither rain, snow, sleets nor did hail (even hurricane) keep him away from work". Not so much fun when you are raising three children but great when you are finally left to your own devices. 

He is a young retiree, only 58. He has boundless energy. He definitely would have been diagnosed with Hyperactivity disorder as a child had the condition been known. One of his greatest traits is both good and bad. He sweeps his problems under the rug which also allows him the luxury of dismissing the bad and enjoying the good. This year he was diagnosed with a challenging medical issue that has impacted his life, not life threatening. He felt more apt to face his future once a name was put to the physical condition he has endured for the last four years. When I think of the word "Emunah" (unwavering faith) I never would have suspected I would apply it to him. He has had to trust that G-d has given him this path to walk and accepted the challenges he faces every day. With a smile on his face he is moving forward in his life. He trusts that he will function well and will be able to continue to work in his field in various capacities. My money is on him. Nothing will bring him down.

Thank G-d he has his office on the 2nd floor of our home and I have my studio in my basement. I believe this will help bring peace to our home. Who knows maybe better or worse will meet for lunch on occasion.

I was gone but now I am back!

Sometimes life seems to get in the way of life.  I often think about what I am "suppose" to do as opposed to what I "am" doing. Recently, I came to an "AHA HAH" momen, the term Oprah Winfrey used when she felt the light bulb went on in her brain. I wish I had her light bulb and her brain, I'd be millions of dollars richer. I digress.

My mother often says to me about her own life which has not been an easy one, "she wouldn't change a day of it." This is a woman who almost died and literally saw the light; not the light bulb one either. She suffered from deep depression and anxiety. Fell down stairs and was told she would never walk again; she walks faster than me. The list goes on. Why would someone like this NOT want to change any part of her life. Her answer "Ellen, whatever I have gone through has brought me to this day. At 88 I love my life."

Over the last several months life has challenged me with my own set of trials and tribulations. Sickness, my own and other members of my family and friends. Onslaught of company for holidays. Yes I know that is a good thing but sometimes too much of a good thing (Haagen daaz ice cream, who am I kidding...any ice cream) can be overwhelming. Time flitting away without accomplishing my goals. Finally, last week, my 17 1/2 year old dog died. 

I learned something yesterday from my coach Lesley (see post below). Life is made up of 5 minute intervals. Add them together and you can do almost anything you want. Today I am back! I can put all of you into 6 of my 5 minute intervals to say hello. I can finish a Chuppah.  I can spend time with my husband, parents, children and grandchildren. Like my Mom, I am going to go through life and say " I wouldn't change a moment of it." Thanks Mom and thank you Lesley.